Posts Tagged ‘friends’

Community…where are they now?

My husband and I are getting ‘up there’ in age.  All of our lives we have strived to serve those around us.  We don’t ask much in return because we truly don’t need anything.  However, we  needed to replace our roof and could not afford to have it done by a company who wanted to charge us upwards of $10,000.  So, in order to save a few thousand bucks, we decided to do it on our own.  For months we put feelers out and had quite a lot of people come on board to help us.

As the project date grew closer, a few dropped out because of one reason or another.  Then the week of the project approached and people dropped like flies.  On our first day it was my husband and myself beginning the tear out until his brother stopped by for 2 hours to lend a hand.

On the second day of our project we had a tag team of 3 helping my husband, my son and myself.  I was on the upper roof when, unintentionally, one of the guys caused me to fall to the lower roof, landing solidly on my back and head and sliding down 2/3 of the way before I managed to stop myself from falling off the roof all together.  The breath had been taken out of me and I needed to bow out to recover…another man down on our skeleton of a team!

On day three, we had 4 people working as hard as they could, my husband, my son, and two friends who traveled for an hour to come and help us.  The third guy scheduled to help sent a text at 10:00am…he would not be making it…possibly tomorrow though.

To make things even more fun, the dumpster company rented us a dumpster they didn’t have and are now delivering another one four days into our project.  So all that roof material being ripped off and thrown into a pile on our front yard….yeah, that would be us moving it into the dumpster all week long!!!  Can you say “DISCOURAGING???”

I am not tooting our own horn when I say that we have ‘been there’ for many people.  It’s just who we choose to be and we are more than happy to help anyone in need. But for the last two days, I have struggled with ‘our community’ asking myself, where are they now?  I get it. Lives are busy.  Families are being raised.  Work is being done.  However, we are no different in that our lives are crazy busy but we have done our best to make sure that people come first over busyness.  So the questions begin to swirl through my head:  Is this just us?  Is it wrong to think that anyone will be here for us?  Is ‘community’ a one way street?  Should we re-think how we live our lives and who we decide to help in the future?

As much as the tears have been sneaking out and bitterness has been knocking on the door of my heart, I can’t help but feel that tug from the foundations of my belief system.  This IS who we choose to be no matter if we ever get anything in return. It’s ok to want people to be here for us, but it’s not ok to expect them to be. Sometimes people need, but don’t have the capacity to give back.  We need to continue to just be who we are and allow our hearts to pour into those who will need us again going forward.  As long as we are doing what we do out of a heart of pure Love, we will never regret an ounce of giving.

I didn’t write this blog with some great answer in mind.   I wrote it to work through the emotions that have been flooding over me these last few days (and because I have been benched because of the pain I am in!).  The bottom line is this, I am a passionate, loving person, and sometimes that passion is going to come back to hurt my heart in moments such as this; when it’s my turn to be in need and I don’t feel the Love.  However, I will not allow these moments to define me and will not let bitterness to enter the door of my heart or resentment to affect my life.  For better or for worse, I choose to LOVE.

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He iz all that Matterz

“In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.” Psa 3:6

I Love that God’s Word continually reminds us that it is HIM who changes us! I recently heard someone say “It is rare that a person truly changes.” That comment is reflective of a lack of understanding for Who #God is and what He can do in a willing heart. We tend to hold people to who they were the last time we were in relationship with them even if it was 1, 2, 3, or 4 years ago! Granted, they may be the same, but to make the assumption is where we are in error. I, for one, am a very strong personality and it has taken God years to rein me in, however, I constantly stay at His feet asking Him to transform me and to keep molding me so I can look more and more like Him. There are people who hold me to who I was years ago and there is nothing I can do about that. Thankfully, I have finally gotten to the point in my relationship with God that it no longer matters to me who anyone thinks I am. Sure, it would be great if people gave me the benefit of the doubt, but I can’t live in a constant state of trying to prove to others that I have changed. All that matters is that my Father, God, knows my heart and knows how hard I have fought to let Him work on my heart! We all need to get to that point because, when we drop the heavy burden of worrying about what people think, we start to live in a place of peace and freedom in God’s presence! His #grace, #Love, and transformation power is all we need!!! #Godisawesome #IamHis #ItsallaboutHim

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Wut Kinna Frend r U

1.  When you first start to get to know someone, do you give them a ‘blank slate’ to show you who they are?  Or have you already started figuring out in your mind who they are before you even get into a friendship?

2.  When someone says something about that person, do you give them a chance to disprove, or prove it?  Or do you take it as a “fact”?

3.  When you get into a disagreement with them for the first time, do you respect them because they stand for what they believe in?  Or do you get angry with them for being so “difficult”?

4.  When they are dressed and look amazing, do you feel proud to have that friend stand next to you?  Or are you jealous because they look better than you?

5.  When a guy you like starts showing interest in her instead of you, do you realize you are just hurt and try to accept it?  Or do you get angry and blame your friend for it?

6.  When you get into another fight, do you realize immediately start to think about how you are going to work this out with your friend?  Or do you start wondering if this friendship is ‘ever going to work out?’

7.  Once you’ve gotten to know a friend better and someone starts to talk about them negatively, do you stand up for them?  Or do you start agreeing with them and end up talking bad about your friend behind their back?

8. When something happens that hurts your feelings, do you talk to your friend in order to work it out and give them a chance to realize what they did?  Or do you hold it against them for later use in a fight?

9.  When you have a friend who considers you their ‘best friend’, but you know they are not yours, do you let them know that you Love them but you have others in your life?  Or do you keep them on a string and keep them ‘thinking’ they are your best friend too?

10.  When you have a friend that can drive but you are getting mad at them a lot, do you put the risk above the ride and talk about it, knowing it could blow up?  Or do you pretend all is ok because the car thing is ‘nice’ to have?

11.  When her ex-boyfriend, or someone your friend used to like ALOT, starts to show interest in you, and you really like him, do you ignore the feelings and let him know you are not interested?  Or do you ‘go for it’ because it’s nice to have a guy interested in you.

Answers these questions with gut-wrenching honesty, and you will know by the end of question 11 what kind of friend YOU are.